07/20/2019
Why is your forgiveness by God tied to your own forgiveness of others? There are certain people who have hurt us that we are inclined to dislike or hold a grudge against forever, and some, who will not change their offending behavior, or become reconciled to you. Forgiveness... it takes one person to forgive, but two to reconcile, yet the first step to any reconciliation is always forgiveness. Yes, forgiveness can be so hard!
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14-15 ESV
When we have damaged our relationship with God through sin we must repair it, and reconcile ourselves with God, but before that can occur there must be repentance, and forgiveness. Asking for God’s forgiveness (repenting) is something we can do fairly easily, but forgiving another is an entirely different thing; it requires setting aside our own hurts and bitterness.
“Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus,”
Acts 3:19-20 ESV
The phrase “blotted out” in this scripture means forgiven, so we must repent, receive forgiveness, and then be refreshed... or be reconciled. The act of repentance is something we do, the act of forgiveness God does, and finally, the process of reconciliation is a joint effort, but for any of this to occur we must first be able to forgive others; we need to follow this model that God is laying out for us.
Do you offer forgiveness to some and not others? Do you say you forgive someone but carry around a wound that hurts every time you see them? Neither of these is how God expects us to approach forgiveness. These are examples of forgiving in the moment, but true forgiveness isn’t something we do right now... it is something we do forever. Jesus made a way for us to be forgiven our sins for eternity, so that we could reconcile ourselves with God. The gift of Grace makes way for the undeserving sinner to be forgiven, but the gift of reconciliation is one that we must join in together.
“All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.”
2 Corinthians 5:18-19 ESV
I once listened to a man say that forgiveness and reconciliation were one and the same, but they are not. Take our relationship with God for instance; God was able to forgive us of Himself, but then He offered us reconciliation. We have to accept His offer for that to occur.
The only way to be reconciled without forgiveness requires capitulation... for one person to bow to another’s demands, and sometimes this just can’t be. You can forgive someone for harming you, but if they have no remorse, and will hurt you again... then there can be forgiveness of past deeds and sins, but no reconciliation. Our commitment to others is detailed in the previous scripture “the message of reconciliation”, we should offer to reconcile, but this doesn’t mean a one sided reconciliation... or in other words... capitulation. God wants us to love Him, but submitting to Him without that love is not participating in a righteous relationship, but merely servitude by force, coercion, or perhaps as an example of the Stockholm syndrome in which a captive concedes their will to a captor’s. God is good, and wants no part in winning reconciliation at the expense of His character.
So this is our model of forgiveness. If we have hurt someone else we should be remorseful, ask for their forgiveness, and offer to reconcile. If someone else has hurt us then we should forgive them, and then offer reconciliation. The one thing to remember here is that God’s forgiveness of us is tied hard and fast to our forgiveness of others... but not to reconciliation which requires their participation, and is not controlled by us.
Finally, there is the hardest part for some... separating ourselves from the offense of another, and making our forgiveness last forever. God gives us help in this too...
“"I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”
Isaiah 43:25 ESV
Forgiveness of others is for our sake, but then comes the hard part... not remembering or dwelling on that offense. Not remembering is different from forgetting. We are not capable of erasing memories, but scripture tells us how to lessen the impact of them by concentrating on the good, or changing the way we remember them...
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Philippians 4:8 ESV
When we see someone who has done us wrong, and we have since forgiven them, then learn to override that bad memory by thinking about the relief and joy your forgiveness of them has brought you, and not about the offense. Turn the remembrance which Satan would have you dwell on around, and claim your forgiveness as a joyous victory over it.
Learning to forgive earns us the right to be forgiven, and opens the way to reconciliation... to a renewed relationship with God. Forgive as Jesus forgave, and forgive in obedience to God’s Will regarding forgiveness. If we do this then we have taken a great stride in becoming as Jesus is.
“And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."...”
Luke 23:34 ESV
Prayer:
Father, thank you for your Son Jesus Christ who demonstrated to us the power of forgiveness, and brought to life the prophecy of Isaiah. Thank you Lord for revealing to us the eternal properties of your forgiveness, and the nature of not remembering the transgressions of others against us. Thank you Merciful Father for giving us the joy and release from hate and anger, that forgiveness brings. Thank you for leading us to understand the need to communicate the message of reconciliation, and for freeing us of the guilt we associate with someone refusing to enter into it with us. Holy, Holy, Holy, are you our God who forgives us by His grace, and the blood of His Son Jesus. Great are you who extends to us the gift, and message, of reconciliation! Praised be your name always for the goodness and mercy you show us by hearing and receiving our prayers of contrition. All glory is yours Holy Father for forgiving me, a sinner, and leading me into a reconciled relationship with you. I worship you now, and forevermore!
Rich Forbes