02/20/2021
Have we asked Jesus if we can abide in Him, and have we invited Him to abide in us? It is one thing to know someone, and to look forward to seeing them, and to be with them every day, but it is quite a different thing to live with that person in the same house. Living together requires that we adjust to each other’s ways, and that is exactly what Jesus wants us to do... to become more like Him. In this way we find that we begin to do the same good things that they do, but it also reveals our shortcomings to us.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:5 ESV
Newly married couples know this to be true, they have a certain depth of relationship as they are dating, and they think that they know one another completely, but when they go back to their separate homes each night they put away the other person’s shortcomings, revert back to living a life filled with their own idiosyncrasies, and they don’t fully adjust to one another. But, once married, and they become one flesh, one household, and things change...they begin to see their spouse with not only the good things that brought them together, but they see their shortcomings that if not addressed could tear apart their relationship, and end their marriage. They need to find a way to bring out the best in one another, and to separate those things that might destroy their togetherness. They need to abandon the things that are detrimental to the new person they are becoming together... “Out with the bad, and in with the good”, or, “Out with the old, in with the new!” as the saying goes. Jesus is speaking of this in the very next verse when He speaks of the branches withering, and becoming separated...
“If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned.”
John 15:6 ESV
Now I am not proposing that couples live together before they are married to see if they can tolerate one another. That is like trying to build a house without using the nails, fasteners, or mortar that holds it together. Sure, it might stand for a while, but the moment that the earth shakes, the floods come, or a mighty wind blows against its walls, the house will fall, and not only will the married couple be hurt, but all those around them... children, parents, relatives, and everyone who has come to love them. The nails, and other things that hold a house, a marriage, and a faith, together, are just as important as the materials from which they are constructed. The nails that join them together should come from Calvary, the fasteners from the tenets of their faith, and the mortar between them should consist of the love of God that holds them firmly to a strong foundation, and their cornerstone... Jesus Christ. Marriage, and abiding in Jesus, and He in us, are mysteriously, and wonderfully joined together, and when we realize this both will bear much fruit.
““Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Ephesians 5:31-33 ESV
So, we have made the decision to abide in Jesus and have asked Him to abide in us. He has knocked at our door and asked us to marry, and we have said yes; this is all good, and the marriage has now taken place, but are we adjusting to Him, or do we expect Him to adjust to us? The wonderful thing about our faith is that God already knows who we are, and all those weird idiosyncrasies, and sinful things, we have asked Him to forgive... He knows our heart. Now it is up to us to change, and accept the transformation He has extended to us. In earthly marriage we typically change in a give and take fashion, each of us becoming new, but in faith we are in relationship with perfection, and the change, or gain, is all ours. When we marry Christ we are being transformed into perfection. Are we ready to change, and can we change without requiring some reciprocal action in return? Are the nails, fasteners, and mortar of our marriages to our earthly spouse, and to Christ strong enough to endure the humbling of our nature? Think on these things, pray about them, and let the first thing that changes in us be the centricity of our ego.
“You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
Matthew 5:48 ESV
Pray:
Father, thank you for the mystery of marriage, and of becoming one flesh. Thank you for our earthly marriage that changes us together with our spouse, and our heavenly marriage that perfects us in Christ. Help us Holy Father to see the truth in the similarities, as well as the differences that set apart heaven and earth. Help us to love as you love, without limiting expectations or requirements that cause our love to stumble. Humble us Father so that we can endure change without stumbling over our ego, or emotion, and give us the strength of faith that will allow us to keep loving when we are giving our all, and receiving nothing in return. Holy, Holy, Holy, are you who gave us the perfection of Christ while we were yet living in sin. Praised be your name for seeing good in us, and loving us, while we were still resistant, and reluctant to change. You are patient in your love for us, and continue to knock at our door until at last we invite you in. By your grace we are changed, and receive the fruits of a life that is no longer ours. Prune us Lord, and remove all those branches that bear little to nothing. Give strength and sustenance to the heathy stems that are ladened with a bounty that is destined for your table. Give us the ability to love in our lives, and our marriages, as you love us, held tight by the mortar of your faithful love, and with our humility made perfect as you are perfect. See your Son Jesus in us, and send Him quickly to claim us as His bride... we long to abide in Him, and for Him to abide in us... perfected for all eternity.
Rich Forbes