11/10/2021
When we forgive someone who has wronged us do we actually forgive them as we should? Oh, we might say the words, hug one another, kiss, shake hands, and even shed tears, but do we put our differences completely behind us? Do we forgive, and then choose not to remember their iniquities; putting them out of our minds, never to be thought of again? Do we separate ourselves from them as God does?
“For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.””
Hebrews 8:12 ESV
We might think we have forgiven, but the true test comes the next time we have a situation arise in which this person wrongs us again in some way. In that moment do all the past disagreements we had with them, and all their transgressions come rushing back into our minds, and if they do… how do we handle that?
““I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.”
Isaiah 43:25 ESV
Long ago when I was newlywed, I heard an old married man tell what at first sounded like a funny story. He said that his wife was a “grocery bag forgiver”. He said that whenever he did something wrong, and apologized, that she would say that she forgave him, but that she actually took that transgression and put it in a grocery bag. Then, whenever she got mad at him again she would unpacked everything in that bag of old arguments… one at a time… and lay them out again. We all laughed at this story, but in reality it was sad. This was a prime example of how not to forgive. Forgiveness requires that we put whatever we are forgiving behind us, or as scripture says of God, we should separate it from us as for as the east is from the west. If we can’t do this then we have never truly forgiven.
“as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
Psalm 103:12 ESV
What would our relationship with God be like if He always remembered every sin we had committed? What if he was a “grocery bag forgiver?” I have heard people argue that God is perfect, and is incapable of forgetting… that His memory is without fail. Well, that is true, so how does he separate our sins from us? He does so by CHOOSING NOT TO REMEMBER! This might sound like Symantec’s but it isn’t. We forget over time when our memories become lost in the jumble of a continuing life. As an example, can you remember the shoes you wore on your first day of school? How about all the details of that day? Our minds are fallible, and so we forget, but God’s is not… he is incapable of forgetting and knows every detail of that day, unless He chooses not to remember. Thankfully He chooses not to remember those things He has forgiven us of, and every verse of scripture dealing with His forgiveness tells us that He chooses not to remember.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32 ESV
Forgiveness heals the relationship we have with God, and with others, but it goes a step further than that, it also heals us personally as well. If we forgive for no other reason, we should forgive someone to bring peace to our own heart, and spirit. When we argue, or are hurt, we can’t concentrate, we toss and turn when we attempt to sleep, and no matter how hard we try we just can’t find that sense of peace. When we don’t forgive others as we should then friendships are lost, marriages are destroyed, businesses are dissolved, faiths are lost, and life in general deteriorates; all over the lack of forgiving as God teaches us to forgive. And, when we don’t forgive ourselves then we fall into such things as depression, bitterness, and are pursued by all manner of mental illnesses. People often commit suicide, sink into addictions, and walk away from good lives, all because they are unable to resolve, or forgive, themselves of issues in their life. To address each of these types of forgiveness we must CHOOSE TO FORGET, just as God does. Sin separates us from God, so He couldn’t live with us unless He chose to forget, and it is the same with us and those things that bring discord in our lives.
“And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.””
Jeremiah 31:34 ESV
When we forgive someone, or ask them to forgive us we need to have separation from those transgressions. Relationships can’t survive if every past harm is remembered, and brought up again and again; that is not forgiveness, and it becomes a weighty load to carry personally as well as between each other. So how do we solve this? We pray that the Lord will help us, and teach us, how not to remember. We need to forgive as He does, by choosing not to remember. We also should think on good things to lead our minds away from the ills that will haunt us otherwise. Jesus showed us that it was possible for us to forgive, and as He abides in us, and we in Him, we too can succeed at this. Like our faith, forgiveness takes discipline, resolve, and love.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
Romans 8:1 ESV
Looking at ourselves today, what do we see regarding our ability to forgive? Are we forgiving as we should, or just saying the words? Do we have grocery bags that need to be emptied once and for all?
Prayer:
Father, thank you for forgiving us of our sins, and then separating them from us as far as the east is from the west. Thank you Lord for choosing not to remember them so that our relationship with you is made whole, and full, once more. Help us Father to be like Jesus; able to forgive as we should, and by our forgiveness to receive yours. Help us to choose not to remember the transgressions we have forgiven, until time can erase them entirely from our memories. Do this so that your calm, and peace, can return to us, and love can replace discord and hate in our relationships. Holy, Holy, Holy, are you our God who sent your Son to heal the wound of sin, and who chooses to forgive, and forget, all of those iniquities. Praised be your name for leading us to forgive ourselves and others; not with words alone, but in our heart of hearts, and by choosing as you do to not remember. Merciful are you in this way Father! Your grace abounds and heals all wounds, and your forgiveness is forever. Wash us in the blood of Jesus to cleanse us of our sin, and teach us to forgive as we should so that we will be welcome at your table forevermore.
““Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered; blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.””
Romans 4:7-8 ESV
Rich Forbes