03/09/2019
How do you forgive? Do you forgive by degree with the small wrongs being easily forgiven and spoken of openly on the street corners as if forgiving them were a victory, but the large transgressions remaining, and being mulled over in your heart until they are almost forgotten, but never truly put away by true forgiveness? Do you make right the wrongs, and separate them from you? We should forgive the most vile transgressions just as we forgive the minor inconveniences. We should embrace forgiveness as Jesus did.
And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them." And when he had said this, he fell asleep.”
Acts 7:20-21, 59-60 ESV
Stephen learned the lesson of forgiveness from Jesus, and he exercised it in his life. We know this because we see him putting it to use on the verge of his death. He forgives those who are killing him, just as Jesus did, and with nearly the same words. Could you do this?could you ask God to hold your murderer harmless for what he was doing to you, or would you do as Job’s wife told him to do, and curse them with our last breath?
“Then his wife said to him, "Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die."”
Job 2:9 ESV
Yet as Job would not curse God, we should not curse those who set upon us. Listen as Job tells us that he will hold God harmless for what he is enduring. Can you do this, or does the trauma in your life destroy your faith, ripping even the seed of it from within you? We hear Job’s words...
“Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face. This will be my salvation, that the godless shall not come before him.”
Job 13:15-16 ESV
As we listen to these words we can’t help but think of the Lord’s Prayer, and the instruction regarding forgiveness that we receive from it... in it we are taught to pray a request that God would forgive us, just as we would forgive others. Do you pray this prayer, even though you are maintaining bitterness in your heart for another?
“and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Matthew 6:12 ESV
Jesus forgave the small and the large debts and trespasses, and Stephen, having learned to do this, followed in His teaching, even to the moment of his death. How is it then that we struggle so mightily to forgive? Sometimes we even wrestle with the little trespasses... we need to learn perfection in the lesson of forgiveness, and not let our emotions rule us as if they were gods; gods we have placed above the one true God.
I remember times... not just one, but many, in which I struggled with forgiveness. I recall laying awake at night with hurt and anger eating away at me. I remember going to my father’s table and not having an appetite for the meal set there because my anguish had caused my stomach to resist sustenance as it dined on the bitter herbs of hate. The lack of forgiveness is a double edged sword; it cuts at those we are wielding it against, and each time we pull it back to swing it again... it cuts us deeply as well.
An Irish actor and writer wrote a book of memoirs titled “A Monk Swimming”, and in it he made a statement that we have all heard quoted at some point... he said “Resentment is like taking poison, and waiting for the other person to die.” There is great wisdom in this, and it relates directly to the biblical subject of forgiveness. We might hear it said differently in this way “forgiveness withheld is like telling God we will not forgive, and expecting His grace in return.” Both of these statements ultimately end in our death, and in each case our innards are ground up within us as we await our demise.
“"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you."”
Luke 6:37-38 ESV
There are two types of forgiveness; one in which we ask God to forgive someone (as Jesus and Stephen did), and the other is when we personally forgive. It could be argued that we can’t genuinely ask God to forgive someone unless we ourselves haven’t already done so, but relative to our personal forgiveness there are several scriptures that call out the benefits, and all of them point to the fact when we forgive it is to our own benefit... not necessarily to the benefit of the one we have forgiven.
So back to my original question “How do you forgive?” Or perhaps we should start by asking ourselves “IF” we forgive. Today let’s pray that the Lord gives us the wisdom, and softens our hearts sufficiently, so that we can sincerely forgive! Let’s do this so that we are not harmed by our own shameful intransigence, and are able to receive the grace of God by purifying ourselves of our harmful thoughts and bitterness.
Prayer:
Father, I thank you for your forgiveness, and I thank you also Holy Father for teaching me to forgive. Soften my heart, and open the way for your grace to travel freely, even like flowing water, into my most hidden recesses. Fill me Gracious Father with the ability to release myself from the chains of bitterness and blame. Free me Lord from the harmful agony of the pain and suffering that comes from holding unresolved debts within me. Ease my spirit Father, and return me to your peace, and the harmony of my faith in you. Let me place nothing above you, especially my own desire to judge others, and to hold them accountable according to my pride, and wishes. Holy, Holy, Holy, are you my God into whose hands I place those who have trespassed against me. Vengeance is yours Father because you temper perfectly, and are just in all things. Mine is to forgive without the need for recompense or retribution so that my spirit can find itself at rest in you, and your peace can return to me. Great are you in whom forgiveness has become grace, and sin has been taken captive. Glory and Majesty are yours forevermore, and forgiveness your eternal virtue.
Rich Forbes