09/28/2018
Are you the child of an imperfect father? Well, here is some news for you... all men are flawed, and we as children are flawed as well. However, God is perfect and beyond blemish... He is perfection in every way. Yes, He is Abba, the perfect Father, and in so being will never abandon you, or do any of those things that abusive, or otherwise imperfect human fathers do. No matter how bad your earthly father is, and I know that some are monsters... God the Father is good, and can rescue you from all abuse and calamity.
“And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba! Father!" So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.”
Galatians 4:6-7 ESV
Repeat after me... “I am a child of God”, and now believe that He has the incredible love of a perfect Father for you! Perhaps your earthly father isn’t much; maybe you have been abandoned by him, or he is abusive in some way, but whatever his faults are, God the Father has none of them. He loves you like no other, He listens to your every word, He heals and helps you when you are sick or in trouble... He is the one that even the best father on earth can’t stand in the shadow of.
“This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. For who is God, but the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God?— the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless.”
Psalms 18:30-32 ESV
No man is perfect, we are all flawed, and yet there are some who are more so than others. Having an earthly father who is lacking in some regard, is only different in degree from one who demonstrates his imperfections in a drastically evil way, yet the fact remains that he is linked to you as your father... this is why it hurts so much to see the faults in our fathers; it is seeing the possibility of those faults in ourselves; like looking in a mirror and being frightened at the thought of who we might see looking back. Studies have been conducted that prove there is a correlation between abusive father’s, and sons who subsequently become abusive, but when those sons identify with God as Abba and Father, then that trait is overcome. It is like sanding and painting over rust on metal with a rust preventing paint... it is made perfect in that regard once more, and the rust will not return; it will not show through. God erases the presence of bad or incomplete fathering and replaces it with Himself... perfection.
“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.”
Romans 8:15-17 ESV
The sad thing about poor parenting is that a child is inclined to love even the most imperfect mother or father. Many children are born to parents that don’t raise them in the “instruction of the Lord”... perhaps they are drug addicts who abandon them, beat them, or neglect them in horrific ways, and yet these children still love those parents deeply... even in the most terrible of circumstances. Children love, and forgive with a capacity that adults can’t begin to comprehend. God loves those children in like kind, and that is how he loves each of us... the fortunate and the unfortunate; those who are privileged by have loving parents, and those who are saddled with monstrous ones. God understands who we are, and our capacity for love, and He is there at just the right time to save us from the most horrendous of circumstances if we will take His hand, go His way, and do what He shows us as right. Children are to “obey [their] parents in the Lord”, and parents are to instruct in the ways of the Lord; Oh that it were always so...
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:1, 4 ESV
Perhaps you are saying to yourself that you have good parents, and that they are a lot like God in love and parenting! Well that is wonderful and He is more than likely at work in their lives, but there are, or will be, things about your upbringing that you will want to change when you raise your own children. The imperfections of parents comes in varying degree, but each has some. What we as children must do is to make certain that those things we see in them and call imperfections are truly imperfections in the eyes of God... and not just in our own eyes as the result of our own wants and faults.... Mom or Dad told me I couldn’t go to some event... well that isn’t necessarily bad parenting; it is using discretion to protect you as their child. What I am saying is that when we criticize make certain it is done so against a godly measure, not our own wants, and desires. Equally, when we see ungodly behavior then we resist it in such a way as we remain without sin... work to perfect yourself in the midst of an imperfect and unholy environment. Pray for God the Father to lead you and counsel you.
The point of this discussion is to reassure you that you are a child of God, and that He loves you. Secondly, to tell you that in as much as He is Abba, our Father, He is also perfect... the perfect loving Father. And lastly, that he will not abandon you in the midst of your trouble... not even if that trouble is at the hands of abusive parents, or some other seemingly inescapable nightmare.
Prayer:
Father, I thank you for being Abba to me, and being a perfect Father who I can come to when I am troubled. I thank you for your Son Jesus Christ, and your Holy Spirit who walk with me through even the most dire of circumstances and show me your will and way. I love you Father, and hold tight to your hand like a child. Teach me, comfort me, and sit with me through the darkest of my nights. Be at my side Abba when my earthly father is not, and help me to honor him despite his shortcomings. Only you know his heart Lord, and only you can judge him, but if he is not faithful, lead me in your ways. Help me to overcome any lessons I have been taught that are contrary to your Word, commandments, and your will for my life. Teach me to walk as a mature man of faith and to see the world through the eyes that you have given me. In you I find perfect fatherhood, and I ask you to stand beside me as I raise and deal with my children, for you knew them long before I did. You have placed them in my hands Abba, and have entrusted me to raise them... help me to live up to your expectations. Praised be your name Father, because Holy, Holy, Holy, are you who loves your children, and suffers long when they have wandered away, or refused to acknowledge you. Great are you in patience, and greater is your love that surrounds your grace.
Rich Forbes