09/30/2017
Many devout Christians will reach a place in their faith where they will call out to the Lord asking that they join Him in the suffering He experienced. One feels that if God breaks our bread and pours out our wine that the relationship we have with Him will grow all the closer, but something unexpected happens... it isn't God who breaks us and pours us out.
“Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church,”
Colossians 1:24 ESV
I had been through an intense period of spiritual growth in faith, and was strengthened in many ways through servitude and trial. In this place of sanctification I wanted to be even closer to God; to offer myself more completely. I wrote my pastor about this longing to suffer as Jesus had suffered and to follow Him further, and how I yearned for this experience. What happened next wasn't sudden nor was it the obvious spiritual happening that I expected it to be... and it wasn't by the hands of God.
I found myself under incredible attack by people I had called friends and orchestrated by a man serving his own greed and self-interest. My body was not spared during this time either, as I was also diagnosed with cancer. Over the next couple of years I was gradually ground down until at last I was broken and the disillusionment I felt in my friendships had poured out the life from within me. I prayed and cried out to the Lord as this was happening, and I asked forgiveness for those who were persecuting me, but it didn't feel like the suffering I was expecting from God... it felt like betrayal, deceit, and wickedness. The physical attack felt personal and satanic. Every nick or cut in my skin was rubbed with salt and the suffering was immense. In the times when I thought I could suffer no more God placed angels in my life, one, who was quite prominent, bore the unlikely name of Savage, and there were others like Hughes, Saucier, Mckissack, and more... they lifted me up in my darkest hours. Finally, I asked for relief, and I was led to abandon what I had been holding so tightly to. I let go of the prideful professional self I had worked years to develop, and became more like the image of Christ... and this outcome surprised me because I didn't realize the enormity of the happening. When I found myself defeated I claimed victory. The joy and peace that I had lost during my persecution returned many fold, and suddenly I was in the arms of the Lord.
God doesn't cause us to suffer, He just allows it to occur. Job found this to be true, and Jesus did as well. I read a good description of this phenomenon written by Oswald Chambers; he described it in this way...
"This call has nothing to do with personal sanctification, but with being broken bread and poured out wine. God can never make us wine if we object to the fingers He uses to crush us with. If God would only use His own fingers, and make me broken bread and poured out wine in a special way! But when He uses someone whom we dislike, or some set of circumstances to which we said we would never submit, and makes those the crushers, we object. We must never choose the scene of our own martyrdom." - Oswald Chambers
If you are suffering today and you think that it will come to no good, don't be so certain. Call out to God in prayer. Ask that God comfort you and seek His forgiveness for those who might be persecuting you. Then look around at the angels who have come to lift you up. Sometimes we become so fixed on our own condition that we lose sight of what is being done to strengthen us... look for the angels.
“And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him. And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.”
Luke 22:43-44 ESV
On the far side of your suffering there is a wonderful lifting up, and it isn't just for you... it is for all those around you, and it is for the Church. The suffering of Jesus was for us, and our suffering benefits others as well.
My dear friend and angel, Chuck Savage, lifted me up during my period of suffering, and the correspondence we began at that time has become these morning devotionals that are shared around the world and across many churches and denominations. God allows you to suffer for His will, not yours, and although you may feel blessed by it too, the true blessing is for the Church, and God's children.
"Keep right with God and let Him do what He likes, and you will find that He is producing the kind of bread and wine that will benefit His other children." - Oswald Chambers
Prayer:
Father, I thank you for the cup you lift to my lips, and for your will, that I give of myself so others might live. I thank you for the suffering we find ourselves enduring because it is through that suffering others will find salvation and everlasting life. As I go through the pain before me, never let me lose sight of the enormity of the passion that Jesus endured. In my small way let me honor Him through my tribulations, and use me Father to benefit your Church. When my knees begin to buckle, and my spirits wain, send your angels to bear me up that I not fail you Father. Pour your strength into my cup that I can serve you completely, and when my suffering has abated, let your glory be my blessing.
I pray each day for those angels you have sent into my life. Some I know by name, but there are others that are unknown and unnamed. I pray for those who suffer today as they seek to do your will around the world, and those who are placed in hardship and danger for your purposes; keep them safe, give them courage; fill them with your spirit. I pray for your Church and its advancement; fill the pews and standing places with souls searching for you. In all these efforts may your name be glorified for Holy, Holy, Holy are you!
Rich Forbes